Truth Be Told
I tried to blog yesterday but I found it hard to motivate on a rainy Monday. Despite my to-do list and numerous doses of caffeine, I felt slow and tired, like a sloth. Except that I was waiting for the day to end in my cubicle, not hanging from a tree.
I've been thinking about the truth lately. And not just because it was the theme of the most recent episode of Grey's Anatomy. Yesterday, as the day ticked by at the speed of a slug, I spent considerable time on The Smoking Gun website reading their comprehensive debunking of James Frey's "memoir" A Million Little Pieces. In a nutshell, the Smoking Gun rips Frey and his fictitious writing a new one. Turns out, Frey defrauded his readers with a book that contains tiny, lilliputian bits of the truth, wrapped in boldfaced, gilded, distorted lies, finished off with a bow of shiny, exaggerated arrogance. Plus, he made Oprah look bad, and that is not a good move karma-wise.
Over the past couple days, I've engaged in a couple conversations about the Frey debacle, and I found myself speaking passionately against him and stating my belief that the damage, caused by the unearthing of the whole truth, cannot be undone. The funny thing is, I haven't read A Million Little Pieces. I had no desire to read it before this whole mess, and I have no desire to read it now, but that hasn't stopped me from participating in conversations and debates about it. And I don't always come right out with the disclaimer that I haven't read it. So I'm being slightly dishonest, whilst simultaneously railing against Frey's glib, unapologetic dishonesty. This got me thinking about the how sometimes we lie to protect ourselves, sometimes we withhold the truth to protect others, and yet in some instances we lie, cheat, or withhold the truth, just because.
Growing up, my sister and I didn't always get along. The main reason is that there's a big age difference between us (6 1/2 years) and we shared a room. But the situation was not helped by moments when, at a young age, I displayed an impressive dose of cunning. I can't remember for sure, but I'd estimate that at the time of both the following stories, I was about seven years old, which makes my sister about 13+. First up - Battleship. Remember that board game? Well, my sister and I were playing Battleship one day and I was winning, really kicking her ass. Not only hadn't she sunk any of my ships, but she hadn't yet even gotten any hits. I could see the frustration mounting, her face was getting red - she was not very pleased that her little sister was beating her. And then she got up to go to the bathroom, glanced back, and saw that I had not set up ANY of my ships. Not a one. Not a ship on the entire board. Looking back, I'm both ashamed by my cheating ways and kind of entertained by my cleverness. I mean, the plan was shortsighted because obviously my sister would realize eventually, and it wasn't pretty when she did discover the truth (visualize the board and ships hurtling through the air towards me) and I have no idea what prompted me to do it. But it was funny.
As I've mentioned before, there were not a lot of sweets in the Goldberg household. So a bag of candy corns, off-season no less, did not go unnoticed by me. Sure I heard the chatter around the house that my sister was getting braces. Sure I probably heard the word "tomorrow" spoken in that chatter. But I was severely candy-deprived and there it was in my room - a bag of glistening candy corns, the beautiful triangles of orange, yellow, and white. So I ate them. Every last one. And then denied it until I was blue in the face. Everyone knew it was me. I probably left out the empty bag because I was too full and happy to care. I had taken away my sister's last opportunity to enjoy candy (her favorite candy I might add) for a long time. In essence, I had eaten my sister's (orthodontic) version of the Last Supper. Oops. And of course, I did cave eventually, probably spilling out the truth with some tears to try and gain some sympathy. Whereas I look back at the Battleship incident with a chuckle, I still harbor some guilt over those damn candy corns.
On a somewhat different note, I wonder - is omitting the truth the same as lying? Like say, when I'm answering the question: "What TV shows do you watch?" This question is posed more often than you'd think, probably because I work in the entertainment industry. I know everyone has their guilty pleasures, but I really dug my own grave on this one, because I was emphatically and publicly anti-reality television for the longest time. And I still am, in theory. I don't like idea of reality television and the fact that it takes away jobs from writers. I prefer escapist television in the form of well-written serialized dramas and comedies or the lovely hybrid dramedy. But the truth is that I do watch some reality shows and some shows that are not of the highest quality, I just haven't really, fully admitted it to myself. So, it is arguably a lie when I pronounce, as I often do, that I am elitist and selective in my television viewing. I guess my carefully edited answer is partly to do with the fact that I don't want to publicly admit how much television I watch, but frankly, I think that cat is out of the bag. For the most part, I watch what I consider to be the best shows on TV. But the whole truth is that other shows I watch are embarrassing (One Tree Hill), some are doubly embarrassing because they are not "good" AND they are reality shows (The Bachelor - if he's cute) and some, some are just plain AWESOME (Laguna Beach, Project Runway) and I'm not ashamed of them. You know, I feel better already, a sense of relief has washed over me. I think that my previous withholding of information was done to protect myself, but also to protect others from having to judge me. Because God knows, I certainly judge people by the television shows they watch, and that my friends, ain't no lie.
That is all the truth-telling and past admissions that I have time for today. I know that none of the above are scandalous or earth-shattering but those were the first instances that came to mind. In general, I'm an honest person. You'll just have to trust me on that. Plus, I'm betting that some of the lies I've told, they were to some of you reading this right now and I don't have time to correct everything individually so I'll just say to all: those cookies you made were awful, that shirt did not look good on you, you did fall at the bar, I didn't have a doctor's appointment early the next morning, and I was screening your call (probably waiting for the reality show I was watching to end). I'm just kidding! Or am I?
I've been thinking about the truth lately. And not just because it was the theme of the most recent episode of Grey's Anatomy. Yesterday, as the day ticked by at the speed of a slug, I spent considerable time on The Smoking Gun website reading their comprehensive debunking of James Frey's "memoir" A Million Little Pieces. In a nutshell, the Smoking Gun rips Frey and his fictitious writing a new one. Turns out, Frey defrauded his readers with a book that contains tiny, lilliputian bits of the truth, wrapped in boldfaced, gilded, distorted lies, finished off with a bow of shiny, exaggerated arrogance. Plus, he made Oprah look bad, and that is not a good move karma-wise.
Over the past couple days, I've engaged in a couple conversations about the Frey debacle, and I found myself speaking passionately against him and stating my belief that the damage, caused by the unearthing of the whole truth, cannot be undone. The funny thing is, I haven't read A Million Little Pieces. I had no desire to read it before this whole mess, and I have no desire to read it now, but that hasn't stopped me from participating in conversations and debates about it. And I don't always come right out with the disclaimer that I haven't read it. So I'm being slightly dishonest, whilst simultaneously railing against Frey's glib, unapologetic dishonesty. This got me thinking about the how sometimes we lie to protect ourselves, sometimes we withhold the truth to protect others, and yet in some instances we lie, cheat, or withhold the truth, just because.
Growing up, my sister and I didn't always get along. The main reason is that there's a big age difference between us (6 1/2 years) and we shared a room. But the situation was not helped by moments when, at a young age, I displayed an impressive dose of cunning. I can't remember for sure, but I'd estimate that at the time of both the following stories, I was about seven years old, which makes my sister about 13+. First up - Battleship. Remember that board game? Well, my sister and I were playing Battleship one day and I was winning, really kicking her ass. Not only hadn't she sunk any of my ships, but she hadn't yet even gotten any hits. I could see the frustration mounting, her face was getting red - she was not very pleased that her little sister was beating her. And then she got up to go to the bathroom, glanced back, and saw that I had not set up ANY of my ships. Not a one. Not a ship on the entire board. Looking back, I'm both ashamed by my cheating ways and kind of entertained by my cleverness. I mean, the plan was shortsighted because obviously my sister would realize eventually, and it wasn't pretty when she did discover the truth (visualize the board and ships hurtling through the air towards me) and I have no idea what prompted me to do it. But it was funny.
As I've mentioned before, there were not a lot of sweets in the Goldberg household. So a bag of candy corns, off-season no less, did not go unnoticed by me. Sure I heard the chatter around the house that my sister was getting braces. Sure I probably heard the word "tomorrow" spoken in that chatter. But I was severely candy-deprived and there it was in my room - a bag of glistening candy corns, the beautiful triangles of orange, yellow, and white. So I ate them. Every last one. And then denied it until I was blue in the face. Everyone knew it was me. I probably left out the empty bag because I was too full and happy to care. I had taken away my sister's last opportunity to enjoy candy (her favorite candy I might add) for a long time. In essence, I had eaten my sister's (orthodontic) version of the Last Supper. Oops. And of course, I did cave eventually, probably spilling out the truth with some tears to try and gain some sympathy. Whereas I look back at the Battleship incident with a chuckle, I still harbor some guilt over those damn candy corns.
On a somewhat different note, I wonder - is omitting the truth the same as lying? Like say, when I'm answering the question: "What TV shows do you watch?" This question is posed more often than you'd think, probably because I work in the entertainment industry. I know everyone has their guilty pleasures, but I really dug my own grave on this one, because I was emphatically and publicly anti-reality television for the longest time. And I still am, in theory. I don't like idea of reality television and the fact that it takes away jobs from writers. I prefer escapist television in the form of well-written serialized dramas and comedies or the lovely hybrid dramedy. But the truth is that I do watch some reality shows and some shows that are not of the highest quality, I just haven't really, fully admitted it to myself. So, it is arguably a lie when I pronounce, as I often do, that I am elitist and selective in my television viewing. I guess my carefully edited answer is partly to do with the fact that I don't want to publicly admit how much television I watch, but frankly, I think that cat is out of the bag. For the most part, I watch what I consider to be the best shows on TV. But the whole truth is that other shows I watch are embarrassing (One Tree Hill), some are doubly embarrassing because they are not "good" AND they are reality shows (The Bachelor - if he's cute) and some, some are just plain AWESOME (Laguna Beach, Project Runway) and I'm not ashamed of them. You know, I feel better already, a sense of relief has washed over me. I think that my previous withholding of information was done to protect myself, but also to protect others from having to judge me. Because God knows, I certainly judge people by the television shows they watch, and that my friends, ain't no lie.
That is all the truth-telling and past admissions that I have time for today. I know that none of the above are scandalous or earth-shattering but those were the first instances that came to mind. In general, I'm an honest person. You'll just have to trust me on that. Plus, I'm betting that some of the lies I've told, they were to some of you reading this right now and I don't have time to correct everything individually so I'll just say to all: those cookies you made were awful, that shirt did not look good on you, you did fall at the bar, I didn't have a doctor's appointment early the next morning, and I was screening your call (probably waiting for the reality show I was watching to end). I'm just kidding! Or am I?
posted by Susan Goldberg at 4:36 PM
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