Roll Bounce
Do not fear, this post is not about the film of the same name starring Bow Wow. But I do love the word combo, for some reason it makes me laugh. I'm guessing maybe it's a roller skating term, but the two words together sound very funny to me. I don't love it as much as "triple salchow." Yes, that is the correct spelling for what I always imagined was "sow cow" - I really learn a lot from Google. Anyways, the title popped into my head because I'd been thinking to myself about how I'm trying to "bounce" this sickness out of me. I might not win the battle, but I'm sure going to try and win this war.
Everyone I talk to has different suggestions for how to combat various maladies. Someone told me recently that the best way to kick a cold was to eat a bowl of soup, drink a can of beer, and then take a bath. I'm not sure if what I have is a cold yet, but regardless, I think my system would probably shut down due to dismay if I attempted that. So instead I decided last night to do a eucalyptus tent (bowl of boiling water, drops of eucalyptus in it, towel over my head, taking deep breathes) and get some rest. I didn't get a good night's sleep, though, because of this pretty pathetic trifecta: (1) phlegm (seriously, that's the last time I say it), (2) totally unwarranted anxiety about the transit strike (I walk to work for godssake!) and lastly (3) the wind & heavy rain causing VERY loud ghost noises against my Southern exposure tinfoil windows. But I woke up today feeling better - headache gone, replaced with a sexy, deep chest cough.
Apparently I like to tell people when I'm not feeling well. You guys are all like "um, DUH, this is your second blog about it" but I don't just mean my friends and family. I was talking to the receptionist at my office about it and she had an interesting suggestion to help bounce a cold. She said I should mash up an entire clove of garlic and eat it. (Just an added bonus that I'm simultaneously warding off Republicans, I mean Vampires). I don't dislike the taste of garlic, and I'm willing to try anything, but I'm worried about the linger factor. I detest the linger factor. And that I mean, when you leave a restaurant and your clothing smells like the food you just ate. Or you eat a hamburger and for the rest of the day, despite numerous hand washings, your hands still smell like burger (I have cleverly labeled this "burger hands"). Burrito hands are also the worst. I know that no one enjoys the linger factor, but it bothers me to a ridiculous degree. And I know from chopping garlic for my mom that you might as well chop off both your hands while you're at it, because that garlic smell ain't leaving your fingers despite all the soap, lemon juice, and scented moisturizer you can find. I just cannot imagine what the linger factor would be like after ingesting a clove of garlic (apparently I can't just swallow it, I have to chew it). But I'm willing to try anything. I'm gonna need me a strong bref mint, that's fo sho.
Quite apropos of my sick saga - earlier today I was reading an interview with Woody Allen in the New York Observer and came upon this Woody quote:
"I go to sleep early and wake up early. I was never much of a drinker. I used to drink wine a lot, but I drink beer mostly...I exercise just about every day, and I eat well, I don't eat a lot of junk. To the mild degree that you can help yourself, I help myself."
After reading this, I felt validated. I was like - wow, see, I'm not the only one who thinks like this - I try to help myself stay healthy in the same way that Woody Allen does! But then it hit me that um...my neuroses are on par with a seventy-year-old Jewish man - oy! And then I was like, but not just any older Jewish man - I'm of the same mind as Woody Allen - go me! But then I was like, well, he does seem to have a bunch of peculiar habits and sometimes his judgment leaves a bit to be desired. But then finally I thought, fuck that, I love me some Woody Allen, and Match Point is supposed to be awesome - Woody's having a comeback. I'm inspired to continue fighting this to-be-determined sickness. Roll bounce Woody Allen! Roll bounce.
Everyone I talk to has different suggestions for how to combat various maladies. Someone told me recently that the best way to kick a cold was to eat a bowl of soup, drink a can of beer, and then take a bath. I'm not sure if what I have is a cold yet, but regardless, I think my system would probably shut down due to dismay if I attempted that. So instead I decided last night to do a eucalyptus tent (bowl of boiling water, drops of eucalyptus in it, towel over my head, taking deep breathes) and get some rest. I didn't get a good night's sleep, though, because of this pretty pathetic trifecta: (1) phlegm (seriously, that's the last time I say it), (2) totally unwarranted anxiety about the transit strike (I walk to work for godssake!) and lastly (3) the wind & heavy rain causing VERY loud ghost noises against my Southern exposure tinfoil windows. But I woke up today feeling better - headache gone, replaced with a sexy, deep chest cough.
Apparently I like to tell people when I'm not feeling well. You guys are all like "um, DUH, this is your second blog about it" but I don't just mean my friends and family. I was talking to the receptionist at my office about it and she had an interesting suggestion to help bounce a cold. She said I should mash up an entire clove of garlic and eat it. (Just an added bonus that I'm simultaneously warding off Republicans, I mean Vampires). I don't dislike the taste of garlic, and I'm willing to try anything, but I'm worried about the linger factor. I detest the linger factor. And that I mean, when you leave a restaurant and your clothing smells like the food you just ate. Or you eat a hamburger and for the rest of the day, despite numerous hand washings, your hands still smell like burger (I have cleverly labeled this "burger hands"). Burrito hands are also the worst. I know that no one enjoys the linger factor, but it bothers me to a ridiculous degree. And I know from chopping garlic for my mom that you might as well chop off both your hands while you're at it, because that garlic smell ain't leaving your fingers despite all the soap, lemon juice, and scented moisturizer you can find. I just cannot imagine what the linger factor would be like after ingesting a clove of garlic (apparently I can't just swallow it, I have to chew it). But I'm willing to try anything. I'm gonna need me a strong bref mint, that's fo sho.
Quite apropos of my sick saga - earlier today I was reading an interview with Woody Allen in the New York Observer and came upon this Woody quote:
"I go to sleep early and wake up early. I was never much of a drinker. I used to drink wine a lot, but I drink beer mostly...I exercise just about every day, and I eat well, I don't eat a lot of junk. To the mild degree that you can help yourself, I help myself."
After reading this, I felt validated. I was like - wow, see, I'm not the only one who thinks like this - I try to help myself stay healthy in the same way that Woody Allen does! But then it hit me that um...my neuroses are on par with a seventy-year-old Jewish man - oy! And then I was like, but not just any older Jewish man - I'm of the same mind as Woody Allen - go me! But then I was like, well, he does seem to have a bunch of peculiar habits and sometimes his judgment leaves a bit to be desired. But then finally I thought, fuck that, I love me some Woody Allen, and Match Point is supposed to be awesome - Woody's having a comeback. I'm inspired to continue fighting this to-be-determined sickness. Roll bounce Woody Allen! Roll bounce.
posted by Susan Goldberg at 2:11 PM
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