Confessions on a Dance Floor
You're all like, "What, since when are YOU on a dance floor?"
Well, I'll tell you. Last night I took class at New York Sports Club called Brazilian Groove!
No, no I didn't.
But they do offer that class, along with:
African Dance (No way)
Afro-Latin Funk (huh?)
Ballet (Can't even touch my toes)
Cardio Jam (Not unless it's strawberry)
Cardio Jazz Dance (My favorite on the list)
Latin Dance (JLo)
Latin Groove (Cris Judd)
Masala Bhangra (Curry Hill shout out)
Middle Eastern Belly Dance (MLP shout out)
Ok, I didn't take any of those classes, and I won't. The last dance class I took was at age 8, at this placed called Steps. I was wearing baggy sweatpants and a t- shirt surrounded by girls in leotards and tights. I cried. I threatened to run away from home if I was made to return. And I meant it.
But yesterday, I did go to NYSC and as I worked out, I listened to Madonna's new song "Hung Up" from her new album "Confessions on a Dance Floor." It's amazing the extent to which music can influence my workout. Whether or not I have good/new songs on my ipod actually sometimes determines IF I go to the gym at all. Yesterday was one of the days I was actually excited to go to the gym so I could listen to the latest additions to my "gym playlist" - in case you're wondering, I am often that tool you see mouthing the words to whatever song I'm listening to while I work out.
Apparently I really like that Madonna song, as well as the All-American Rejects song "Move Along" because when I got home later, I played them for my roommate and she unfortunately (fortunately?) witnessed me perform a solo dance party while my new songs played on my killer ipod speakers (shout out LSWG). If only those little shits from Steps could see me last night. I was rocking out. The glass of red wine in my system didn't hurt. That's right, I'm back to being profoundly affected by 1 drink. After the gym I went out to dinner and had a steak. Herein lies the simple answer to the riddle of why I don't lose any weight - it turns out that I exercise so I can maintain my eating lifestyle. It's a delicate balance I've perfected: work out, then eat, and I reassure myself that working out cancels out the food, and try not to think too much about the fact that the reverse is also true. Oh, I guess I should mention that the steak did come with French fries and I couldn't just leave them there, that would be disrespectful to the Irish Potato Famine of 1845-1849 (holler Google).
Moving on, here are some general gym observations & faux pas I've taken note of recently:
(1) It's an awkward moment when you make eye contact with the person on the machine directly facing you.
(2) It's more awkward when the person on the elliptical machine next to you realizes you're racing them.
(3) Taking off your sneakers in the room where people do weights and crunches is TOTES INAPPROPS.
(4) The fact that at NYSC, you can't watch TV unless you plug your headphones in, is SO annoying. I'm forced to watch the music video cycle they've chosen and it's random and bad although I'm sure Fefe Dobson is a BIG fan, she gets mad air time.
(5) Boys who work out in sweatshirts and pants are probably combating some residual eating disorder from the high school wrestling team.
(6) People who use that giant moving staircase machine are braver than I am.
(7) I fully do not understand which machine gives you a better workout. I tend to use the elliptical when I'm at the gym but how come when I use the stairmaster, I sweat like twice as much? And yet the stairmaster tells me I burned half the calories than I usually do on the elliptical? I don't get it at all. Why isn't there an Encyclopedia Brown book about this. I am stymied, but he'd totally figure it out. I bet it has something to do with Karl Rove.
Ok, that's all for now. I leave you with a word of the day - poptard. I first came across it today in this context: "Aaron Carter is a poptard." Yes, yes he is. Britney Spears is a poptard too, I guess she's a momtard now as well, but her music is GREAT work out music. I wonder if Britney uses my theory about working out and eating - for every push-up and every crunch she does, she thinks "awesome, I can eat another cheeto, or forty."
Well, I'll tell you. Last night I took class at New York Sports Club called Brazilian Groove!
No, no I didn't.
But they do offer that class, along with:
African Dance (No way)
Afro-Latin Funk (huh?)
Ballet (Can't even touch my toes)
Cardio Jam (Not unless it's strawberry)
Cardio Jazz Dance (My favorite on the list)
Latin Dance (JLo)
Latin Groove (Cris Judd)
Masala Bhangra (Curry Hill shout out)
Middle Eastern Belly Dance (MLP shout out)
Ok, I didn't take any of those classes, and I won't. The last dance class I took was at age 8, at this placed called Steps. I was wearing baggy sweatpants and a t- shirt surrounded by girls in leotards and tights. I cried. I threatened to run away from home if I was made to return. And I meant it.
But yesterday, I did go to NYSC and as I worked out, I listened to Madonna's new song "Hung Up" from her new album "Confessions on a Dance Floor." It's amazing the extent to which music can influence my workout. Whether or not I have good/new songs on my ipod actually sometimes determines IF I go to the gym at all. Yesterday was one of the days I was actually excited to go to the gym so I could listen to the latest additions to my "gym playlist" - in case you're wondering, I am often that tool you see mouthing the words to whatever song I'm listening to while I work out.
Apparently I really like that Madonna song, as well as the All-American Rejects song "Move Along" because when I got home later, I played them for my roommate and she unfortunately (fortunately?) witnessed me perform a solo dance party while my new songs played on my killer ipod speakers (shout out LSWG). If only those little shits from Steps could see me last night. I was rocking out. The glass of red wine in my system didn't hurt. That's right, I'm back to being profoundly affected by 1 drink. After the gym I went out to dinner and had a steak. Herein lies the simple answer to the riddle of why I don't lose any weight - it turns out that I exercise so I can maintain my eating lifestyle. It's a delicate balance I've perfected: work out, then eat, and I reassure myself that working out cancels out the food, and try not to think too much about the fact that the reverse is also true. Oh, I guess I should mention that the steak did come with French fries and I couldn't just leave them there, that would be disrespectful to the Irish Potato Famine of 1845-1849 (holler Google).
Moving on, here are some general gym observations & faux pas I've taken note of recently:
(1) It's an awkward moment when you make eye contact with the person on the machine directly facing you.
(2) It's more awkward when the person on the elliptical machine next to you realizes you're racing them.
(3) Taking off your sneakers in the room where people do weights and crunches is TOTES INAPPROPS.
(4) The fact that at NYSC, you can't watch TV unless you plug your headphones in, is SO annoying. I'm forced to watch the music video cycle they've chosen and it's random and bad although I'm sure Fefe Dobson is a BIG fan, she gets mad air time.
(5) Boys who work out in sweatshirts and pants are probably combating some residual eating disorder from the high school wrestling team.
(6) People who use that giant moving staircase machine are braver than I am.
(7) I fully do not understand which machine gives you a better workout. I tend to use the elliptical when I'm at the gym but how come when I use the stairmaster, I sweat like twice as much? And yet the stairmaster tells me I burned half the calories than I usually do on the elliptical? I don't get it at all. Why isn't there an Encyclopedia Brown book about this. I am stymied, but he'd totally figure it out. I bet it has something to do with Karl Rove.
Ok, that's all for now. I leave you with a word of the day - poptard. I first came across it today in this context: "Aaron Carter is a poptard." Yes, yes he is. Britney Spears is a poptard too, I guess she's a momtard now as well, but her music is GREAT work out music. I wonder if Britney uses my theory about working out and eating - for every push-up and every crunch she does, she thinks "awesome, I can eat another cheeto, or forty."
posted by Susan Goldberg at 4:54 PM
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