Snickers for Lunch - Blech on Toast
As some of you know, my parents are very health-conscious, and when I was younger, I was deprived of almost all sweets and junk food. No soda, no sugar cereal, the top of my ice cream cone would be lopped off in the trash, etc. On Halloween, I'd go trick or treating like all the other kids, Katie Rappaport and I would trade candy, and then my mom would say the dreaded words: "Now pick out 4 pieces you want to keep, we're giving the rest to the doormen."
Some of my greatest childhood memories are from when I was able to escape the clutches of Mr. & Mrs. Healthy McHealtherson -
(1) Jaime Winkelman, one of my oldest and dearest friends - in 3rd grade, we would have sleepovers nearly every Friday night and watch TGIF. As much as I enjoyed our time together, a big factor in choosing Jaime over the other kids - there was a guarantee of Frosted Flakes in the morning.
(2) Zach Kurtin, my first boyfriend unless you count Jack Harari @ camp - endless playdates from 1st grade to 4th grade, playing video games and basketball in his room. I think my eyes literally bugged out of my head with elation every time Zach's mom would bring us out giant bowls of ice cream which consisted of more than one flavor AND toppings. I mean, the thought of someone having sprinkles in their apartment, that just blew my mind.
(3) Oh, my Nana. One day, when my parents were out of town, she took me to McDonald's. It's important to note that I'd been to McDonald's before, the one on 3rd Ave in the 80's, but only to watch the cartoons. I never remembered eating there. And years later, I found out that this was because my mom fed me BEFORE going to McDonald's to meet my friends and watch cartoons. Anyway, my Nana took me to McDonald's. I had a Happy Meal (chicken mcnuggets - it was before I knew to question why the chicken was gray). I told my Nana it was the best day of my life.
In a way, the wise methods of my parents seemed to have backfired on me - I have a significant sweet tooth and don't get me started on the effects of their "no TV during the week" policy. It's tough to know why exactly this occurred - my sister emerged the perfect little spawn of the Goldberg health gene. Thing is, I'm generally a healthy person and I try to stick to the mantra of all things in moderation, but it's especially hard since I don't really cook and I'm no longer living at 1185 Park Ave where the meals are 3-course deliciousness representing every food group. Last night, dinner at my country house was something out of Gourmet magazine. I'm lucky if I have salt in my apartment, meanwhile dinner is being prepared at my parents' apartment using plentiful sprigs of rosemary & thyme. My mom literally puts the apricot seasoning UNDERNEATH the skin of the chicken, so as to help give a scrumptious flavor. I mean, for fuckssake, I don't even have protein in my apartment unless Nutella counts.
I'm fighting an uphill battle, especially during the week for lunch since I work across the street from Penn Station, otherwise known as the neighborhood with ZERO places to eat. Literally, it's where food comes to die. Even the the deli's and diners are struggles.
All of this brings me to the suckfest of today. I walk 7 blocks to Whole Foods so I can eat a healthy lunch. So I can be the Goldberg that everyone expects me to be. Of course, this Whole Foods, compared to all the other ones, is like the ugly stepsister. The food selection and space are just not as good, in fact, after my experience today, I'd even venture to call it the Nellie Oleson of Whole Foods. I'll be fair and put part of the blame on myself. Despite countless trips, I'm still overwhelmed by Whole Foods - the people, the pyramids of fruit, the ethnically organized foods, all of it, so I often panic when it's time to pick what to get. I ordered what I thought would be a filling, healthy lunch - a piece of salmon, a small container of pureed butternut squash, and some broccoli rabe. Ten dollars and ten minutes later, I was eating a snickers bar at my desk. Here's why:
(1) Turns out, cold/hard salmon is not very good.
(2) The pureed butternut squash was so watery that I actually saw two little kids swimming in the container, they were wearing floaties.
(3) Broccoli rabe. Is this vegetable a sick joke? I'd heard all the tales of bitterness, but it came with garlic, so I NAIVELY thought that the garlic would be the prevailing flavor, or at least counteract the rabe. I couldn't even taste the garlic. And when I looked closely to inspect the giant chunks of garlic, they were weeping. It was like bitter train had broken down in my mouth. This vegetable cannot be related to broccoli or broccolini, I know sometimes siblings look different but are still related (Lourdes/Rocco) but broccoli rabe was closer in taste to death than to broccoli.
So, I threw them all out. A trip to Whole Foods down the drain. A journey made to attempt to live by my family's code of honor, wasted. I didn't have the time nor the energy to venture back out there for another meal. I succumbed to the proximity of nougat. And so that is why today, I had a snickers for lunch. Boo.
And as I took a bite of said candy bar, I came across this quote on Gawker:
"You'll Die in That Cubicle Before You Ever Retire"
Mondays are awesome.
Some of my greatest childhood memories are from when I was able to escape the clutches of Mr. & Mrs. Healthy McHealtherson -
(1) Jaime Winkelman, one of my oldest and dearest friends - in 3rd grade, we would have sleepovers nearly every Friday night and watch TGIF. As much as I enjoyed our time together, a big factor in choosing Jaime over the other kids - there was a guarantee of Frosted Flakes in the morning.
(2) Zach Kurtin, my first boyfriend unless you count Jack Harari @ camp - endless playdates from 1st grade to 4th grade, playing video games and basketball in his room. I think my eyes literally bugged out of my head with elation every time Zach's mom would bring us out giant bowls of ice cream which consisted of more than one flavor AND toppings. I mean, the thought of someone having sprinkles in their apartment, that just blew my mind.
(3) Oh, my Nana. One day, when my parents were out of town, she took me to McDonald's. It's important to note that I'd been to McDonald's before, the one on 3rd Ave in the 80's, but only to watch the cartoons. I never remembered eating there. And years later, I found out that this was because my mom fed me BEFORE going to McDonald's to meet my friends and watch cartoons. Anyway, my Nana took me to McDonald's. I had a Happy Meal (chicken mcnuggets - it was before I knew to question why the chicken was gray). I told my Nana it was the best day of my life.
In a way, the wise methods of my parents seemed to have backfired on me - I have a significant sweet tooth and don't get me started on the effects of their "no TV during the week" policy. It's tough to know why exactly this occurred - my sister emerged the perfect little spawn of the Goldberg health gene. Thing is, I'm generally a healthy person and I try to stick to the mantra of all things in moderation, but it's especially hard since I don't really cook and I'm no longer living at 1185 Park Ave where the meals are 3-course deliciousness representing every food group. Last night, dinner at my country house was something out of Gourmet magazine. I'm lucky if I have salt in my apartment, meanwhile dinner is being prepared at my parents' apartment using plentiful sprigs of rosemary & thyme. My mom literally puts the apricot seasoning UNDERNEATH the skin of the chicken, so as to help give a scrumptious flavor. I mean, for fuckssake, I don't even have protein in my apartment unless Nutella counts.
I'm fighting an uphill battle, especially during the week for lunch since I work across the street from Penn Station, otherwise known as the neighborhood with ZERO places to eat. Literally, it's where food comes to die. Even the the deli's and diners are struggles.
All of this brings me to the suckfest of today. I walk 7 blocks to Whole Foods so I can eat a healthy lunch. So I can be the Goldberg that everyone expects me to be. Of course, this Whole Foods, compared to all the other ones, is like the ugly stepsister. The food selection and space are just not as good, in fact, after my experience today, I'd even venture to call it the Nellie Oleson of Whole Foods. I'll be fair and put part of the blame on myself. Despite countless trips, I'm still overwhelmed by Whole Foods - the people, the pyramids of fruit, the ethnically organized foods, all of it, so I often panic when it's time to pick what to get. I ordered what I thought would be a filling, healthy lunch - a piece of salmon, a small container of pureed butternut squash, and some broccoli rabe. Ten dollars and ten minutes later, I was eating a snickers bar at my desk. Here's why:
(1) Turns out, cold/hard salmon is not very good.
(2) The pureed butternut squash was so watery that I actually saw two little kids swimming in the container, they were wearing floaties.
(3) Broccoli rabe. Is this vegetable a sick joke? I'd heard all the tales of bitterness, but it came with garlic, so I NAIVELY thought that the garlic would be the prevailing flavor, or at least counteract the rabe. I couldn't even taste the garlic. And when I looked closely to inspect the giant chunks of garlic, they were weeping. It was like bitter train had broken down in my mouth. This vegetable cannot be related to broccoli or broccolini, I know sometimes siblings look different but are still related (Lourdes/Rocco) but broccoli rabe was closer in taste to death than to broccoli.
So, I threw them all out. A trip to Whole Foods down the drain. A journey made to attempt to live by my family's code of honor, wasted. I didn't have the time nor the energy to venture back out there for another meal. I succumbed to the proximity of nougat. And so that is why today, I had a snickers for lunch. Boo.
And as I took a bite of said candy bar, I came across this quote on Gawker:
"You'll Die in That Cubicle Before You Ever Retire"
Mondays are awesome.
posted by Susan Goldberg at 3:51 PM
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