30 Rock

This is not news to some of you, but I have a mild obsession with the show 30 Rock.

I've always been a big fan of Tina Fey - Weekend Update was really the only reason I ever watched SNL. My anticipation for her NBC show was very high. I got a copy of the pilot the summer before its premiere and I loved it immediately - I thought it was outrageous and hilarious. 30 Rock has really hit its stride recently and it continues to be unpredictable and ridiculously funny week after week. Everything Alec Baldwin says is funny due to his impeccable and fresh delivery. Tina Fey is awesome (f-off all you naysayers who say she isn't a good actress, I vehemently disagree). Tracy Morgan is so over the top as Tracy Jordan (an alter-ego it seems) - he is silly and preposterous and amazing. Even Jane Krakowski has grown on me. There may be more brilliant shows on television (The Office) and even shows I'm equally as obsessed with (Grey's Anatomy) but something about 30 Rock, it just kills me. The humor is just unlike anything I've ever seen on TV - it is sharp and fast and surprising - I find myself watching every episode at least twice to make sure I caught everything. Anyways, I know it's not the same as watching it, but I truly feel compelled to share with you some amusing and great quotes from past episodes. If you already watch 30 Rock, then these quotes should serve as a pleasant reminder of the awesomeness and if you haven't seen it, hopefully they will provide insight as to why I implore you to watch this show.

Tracy: Hey Supersize, take care that dude. That there saved my life when we was in Desert Storm. Our tank broke down, he killed 14 Germans so we could get the hell out of there.

Jenna: Gerhardt, would you like to dance?
Gerhardt: Sadly because my body does not produce joint fluid, I cannot.

Jack: Most people in his position would be angry with their family for centuries of inbreeding, but not Gerhardt. He's too busy trying to stave off infection.

Girl (to Pete): Your name sounds Jewish. You must be important.

Cerie: We both want to have a baby while it's still cool. I already have all the names picked out. If it's a girl, Bookcase or Sandstorm. Or Hat, but that's more of a boy's name.
Liz: Yeah, I was gonna say.

Tracy: You like Phil Collins?
Jack: I got two ears and a heart don't I?

Liz: I hate $100 bills. It's like having confederate money.

Liz: If you're a gay guy looking for a beard, I don't do that anymore.

Jenna: That guy wanted to buy you a drink.
Liz: Really? I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?

Liz: They look like the firm of Date Rape, Coke-ington, Cheeseball and Jag.

Jack: (Practicing for a charity dinner) Jack Welch has such unparalleled management skills they named Welch's Grape Juice after him because he squeezes the Swedish juice out of his workers' mind-grapes.
Liz: That doesn't even make sense.
Jack: No, it doesn't, does it. I wrote it down in the middle of the night.

Jack: A cookie in the middle of the day?
Liz: I gave blood.
Jack: Does that burn calories?

Dennis: Dennis Duffy, Beeper King.
Jack: That's a sharp tie you've got there Dennis.
Dennis: That douchebag up front made me wear it.
Jack: Does he know you're the Beeper King?
Dennis: I don't think so.
Liz: This is clearly the nicest restaurant we've ever been to.
Dennis: Hold on a second, this place ain't that nice, alright. It's got rats and roaches like every other restaurant.
Liz: No rat talk tonight, okay.
Dennis: (to Jack) You know there are 17 million rats per person in Manhattan? You eat a pound of rat crap every year without even knowing it.
Jack: I think I read about that in The New Yorker. (pause) Um, anyway, we'll leave you two to your meal. I hope you enjoy the choices that you've made.

Liz: Very funny, you bought a pager from Dennis. Will you take it off now, please?
Jack: I'm sorry, I can't, I'm expecting a call from 1983.

Jenna: What's too old?
Jack: That's a very good question. How old are you?
Jenna: I'm 29.
Jack: What year were you born?
Jenna: 1977.
Jack: When did you graduate high school?
Jenna: '94.
Jack: When do you turn 40?
Jenna: 2017.
Jack: Junior high crush?
Jenna: Kirk Cameron.
Jack: Prom theme?
Jenna: "Motown Philly" Boyz II Men.
Jack: What movie did you lose your virginity to?
Jenna: Arachnophobia.
Jack: Theater or drive in?
Jenna: (hesitates and plays dumb) What's a drive in?
Jack: Of course. I don't know why I bothered to ask. I can tell just from your physical appearance that you're obviously ... 29.

Pete: So, first you thought he was illiterate and now you think he's lazy? Liz, you are racist!
Liz: No, Tracy took advantage of my 'white guilt', which is to be used only for good like over-tipping and supporting Barack Obama.

Jack: (about Kenneth) In five years we'll all either be working for him... or be dead by his hand.

Jack: (after giving Kenneth back his job, to Liz) The Italians have a saying: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." They've never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, but in this, they are correct.

Liz: What made you think I was gay?
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well I'm straight.
Jack: Those shoes are bi-curious.

Jack: You are a puzzle Kenneth Ellen, and I'm going to solve you. Yes I am.

Jack: (to Liz) I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman.

Hope you enjoyed these quotes as much as I do!

THE END...for now!